Please note the following post is full of snark and bad language.
In my previous post, I wrote a Haiku about winter. I'm hibernating, you see and it looks like I will hibernating a little bit longer.
Despite the fact the official start of spring is a mere three days away, Mother Nature is planning to dump 10 to 15 centimetres of snow on us in less than 48 hours. She sure can be a real bitch sometimes.
I could cry real tears. I'm tired of snow. I'm tired of cold. I'm tired of this never ending winter that seems to be lingering like a bad house guest at Christmas. Leave anytime, would you. Please?!?
The only bright spot of this snow that will be arriving soon at my doorstep is that it will put a damper in the spring of those returning to dreary old Ottawa from far flung sunny destinations You know who you are. You've been littering my Facebook feed with photos of sunny destinations, sans snow, for the last week. Oh, look at me in the sun. Oh, look at me at the beach. Oh, look at this gorgeous view outside of my villa. Isn't it just paradise?
Sorry, I can't enjoy your photos. I'm too busy being bitter and snarky. You see, I'm trying to get through the cold days and snow that Canada has based its weather reputation on while your ass rests on a warm, sandy beach while you sip Mia Tais.
But see, March Break has come to an end. Although I'm excited that my child will be returning to school, I'm most excited I now longer have to read about your statuses about how gorgeous paradise is. You are slowly returning home. And while you may have thought winter would have disappeared during your vacation, you are sadly mistaken. Dig out your toque. Find your mittens. Rev up your shovels. It's going to snow, bitches.
Welcome home to the winter that will never end.
